It had been another rough night. Day eighty-seven without Melissa was in the bag. Unfortunately, you say to yourself, day eighty-eight was just getting started. You can feel the effects of last night’s hangover slowly vanishing from your brain. The sound of someone apparently trying to put their fist through your front door serves as your alarm clock.
“GO AWAY! I GAVE AT THE OFFICE!” You shout through a pillow, wanting to go back to bed.
“ DUDE! Open up!” Your friend Greg shouts through the door.
“SORRY, I ALREADY BOUGHT COOKIES THIS YEAR!” You answer back.
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Seriously, GET UP!” He responds. You are well aware of why he is here, you just don’t want any part of it. When he proceeds to knock again, you grab an empty bottle from your night stand and wing it at the door. CRASH!
“DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” He asks.
“THE SOUND OF ME REACHING FOR MY GUN, NOW GO AWAY!” You scream. He knocks again. Realizing that he will not go away, you drag yourself out of bed and over to the door. You open it and are nearly blinded by the loudest Hawaiian shirt you have ever seen.
“Dude, everybody’s waiting downstairs. Are you ready to go yet?” He asks, knowing damn well that you’re not.
“Greg, I told you guys two weeks ago that I’m not going to the Bahamas with you!” You say in disgust as you pop a couple of Aspirin.
“It’s okay man; we have three hours before the flight leaves. You hop in the shower and I’ll pack your suitcase.”
“No it’s not okay. I’m not going.” You shout.
“And why the fuck are you going to throw away a perfectly good ticket to one of the hottest places on earth?” He asks.
“Because there’s NO WAY IN HELL that I am going to go stag on a trip with two married couples and one couple planning their wedding!” You say as you head back towards your bed.
“Alright if you’re not going, then you’ll have to tell the ladies yourself.” He smirks, knowing that you’ll be in the limo with them soon enough. Greg grabs his cell and calls his wife.
“Jess! Yeah, still in bed…Nope, he’s not coming…Won’t even acknowledge the fact that he booked a non-refundable stay at the most luxurious hotel in the Caribbean…Okay, see you ladies in a few minutes.” He hangs up the phone and turns towards you.
“You are screwed now man.” He scoffs.
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