That evening, you sneak over to the tower room and knock lightly on the door.
"Come in," you hear Miss Stoller say with a resigned voice.
You quietly open the door and slip inside. What you see takes your breath away. You shut the door behind you and it takes a few seconds for you to be sure that the woman in front of you is indeed the severe Miss Stoller you've seen so far. Even when she was masturbating, she didn't seem THIS different. She's facing away from you and is holding up a small wooden plaque. She's wearing a loose-fitting blue sundress and matching slippers. Her wavy, light brown hair has been let down, and it reaches almost to her waist. You don't know what she's done with her makeup, but from what you can see, she's absolutely gorgeous. Innocent, yet sexy without being naked. You've never seen anyone look like that before, even in movies.
She doesn't look behind her, but waves a hand in your general direction. "Whoever you are, you can do what you like with the pictures; I'm thinking of quitting anyway. I would have liked to talk to first, but I don't know if I have the strength to... I've actually known him for a long time. You don't mind listening, do you?"
"No," you say, trying to keep your voice a little higher than usual. It seems to work, since Stoller keeps talking.
"It was about six years ago. I was substitute teaching for work experience and wound up teaching his social studies class for almost an entire semester."
Wait. You remember that woman. Miss Stoller. But she was unattractive, overweight and... No. No way in hell. It can't be the same woman, that's impossible.
"I was... well... in a word, I was fat. I was kind of drifting into the teaching world and I was just giving the minimum necessary effort. I figured it would probably be enough for me. People were rude to me because of how I looked and they didn't like that they had to share space with me. I didn't mind it with the students, but insults coming from other teachers really hurt. was one of my students, and he... he was nice to me. You know, with most people it doesn't take much to win them over. When my birthday came around, he brought me some flowers, like he did with all the other teachers. I think they were pansies; nothing expensive. Nobody else at the school got me anything that year, not even a card. I... fell in love."
She's silent for a few seconds, then gives a short laugh. "I didn't tell him of course, the whole notion is ridiculous. He was far too young, and I was... am... a teacher."
She takes a deep breath, then continues, "Anyway, so I ended the year, a woman in love. It felt good. I decided that I would make myself 'worthy of him,' by working hard and improving myself. I stopped thinking of myself as a 'hopeless case' or a 'lost cause.' I knew hooking up with him was completely impossible, but I kept up the illusion because it inspired me and kept me moving. 'If it's a stupid idea and it works, then it's not a stupid idea.' I figured, eventually I would fall in love with someone else or just get sick of working hard and give up on him. I took a year of dance classes for posture and poise. I run every day to burn off calories. I eat healthy food. I study hard and work hard. I tore my way through the graduate programs like they were nothing. I am the youngest faculty head this school has EVER HAD and what secured the position was people seeing how dedicated and focused I was. I... in a sense, I owe *everything* to ."
She's silent for a long, long time. Then, "I... I chose an all-girls' boarding school because I... I didn't want to take the chance of seeing him again. I didn't know what would happen. Would he think I was a sick weirdo if he found out? I guess, since he's of age, I'm not a sick weirdo anymore. You see, everything I've done, I've done because of the CHANCE that he and I... but I didn't want to lose that chance, because then what would happen to me? I don't have any other dreams, really, I don't have anything else to drive me. I had a dream of running a school - I'm doing that. Strike that one off the list. When they announced that they wanted to send a few boys here, I was worried, but I figured the odds against being one of them were astronomical."
She chuckles to herself. "Anyway, sure enough... he was chosen."
She hits the wall with her hand. "And now I FUCK UP! Constantly! I dress like a... a... a seventy-year-old librarian. I act like a total bitch around him - that isn't ME, that's not who I am! I can't even bring myself to be in the same room with him without screwing everything up. He probably hates me now, and who could blame him? If he... I could handle being rejected by him, I think I'd be okay with that, but I... I want him to at least... at least like me, but I don't see how that'd be possible. Um, anyway, do what you like with the pictures; I'm giving my four weeks notice tomorrow, anyway."
She's silent. The ball's in your court now. |