We drove in silence to the apartment. It would do no good to try and talk with her at this time after wounding her so. But, I had given her something to think about. It was best to just let her stew a bit and think about things. The struggle would be between her hurt pride and her desire to win. I knew she was sexually frustrated and that worked in my favor. The level of her anticipation and denial of fulfillment would heighten her drive and potentially make the eventual fulfillment much greater. That was what I was banking on. Besides, if I had just given in to her there would have been no win-win. We both would have lost. That was my trump card. The only way to pull this out and make it a win-win is for me to remain non-defensive and draw her out of her defensiveness. Otherwise it was a power struggle, an arms race to see who had the bigger guns.
We entered my apartment still having said nothing to each other. She went into the bedroom and gathered up her stuff. When she came out she was holding her cell phone and was upset. “My cell phone is dead. Could I use your phone to call a cab?”
I pulled out my phone and handed it to her. She called the cab and handed the phone back. “Have a seat Anjie, it will be a few minutes before the cab arrives and I have a few things to say. That is if you are willing to listen.” She sat down and gestured for me to continue. My hope hung on the fact that bluntly telling her the truth without effort to protect myself or inflict any further wounds would soften her. The truth always hurts those who are defensive, but it is the only thing that can pierce the armor and touch the heart. I continued, “Today has been one of the most fantastic days I have had. I have played harder than I have in a long time and my competitor is a beautiful, sexy, witty, sensitive, intelligent woman. The rules you laid down spoke of accepting only a win-win situation. Nothing that is easy warrants the term ‘prize’ and I don’t really want second best, nor do you. I have no desire to manipulate you, nor do I want to be manipulated. The game is still open, the prize still available, the ball is in your court.”
She wouldn’t look at me. She was stoic and controlled and wasn’t about to let go of her pride. I stood up and opened the door and waited for her to move. She was still very defensive. I walked her down to the street and waited with her until the cab came. I opened the door and let her in and told the driver to wait so I could pay him. I shut the door and walked around to the drivers side but instead of paying the driver I opened the back door and slid in beside Anjie and told the driver to go. Anjie sat there and stared out her window. I could feel her shell crumbling and emotion began to show on her face. Her eyes welled up and tears began to drip down her face. I pulled out a handkerchief and offered it to her. She accepted it and dobbed the tears from her face. I reached over and touched her arm, “let it go Anjie.” I spoke softly. She lowered her head and began to sob. I scooted close to her and put my arm around her and with my left hand gently pulled her head onto my chest. The wall had fallen and she reached over me with her right arm and clung to me while she cried. Tenderly I whispered, “It’s ok, thank you for trusting me. Let all that hurt out and let it go.”
Minutes passed as the cab moved on and we sat holding each other. Her crying slowed, and she used the hanky to blow her nose and clean her face. When she was finished she returned to hugging me. I asked, “Where do you want to go?”
“I need to go home and take care of some things.” She had already given the driver her address and I told him to take us there.
When we arrived I got out and opened her door. “Will you be ok?” I asked.
“Would you come up with me?” she replied.
I grinned real big and said, “Sure.” I paid the driver with a healthy gratuity and he handed me his card telling me to call his cell phone and he would come back.
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