At first, it had looked like an easy jump. Of course, the clearing was small, barely wide enough for an experienced parachutist to make a somewhat safe landing, but the tall mountains that surrounded the jungle of Biggo Cocko on all sides shielded it from the wind, and Lara's descent had been a piece of cake. This was a good sign: that jungle was renowned for being especially unforgiving, and a good, swift start was mandatory if she wished to complete her mission and be back at the pick-up site by the end of the week. A hundred feet above ground, she started to relax. At eighty, she prepared to unbuckle her parachute. At sixty... a strong, unexpected draft brutally flung her up and Lara overshot the clearing by a large margin.
“Oh fucking he-”
Her cry of surprise was cut short by the sting of heavy leaves and branches whipping her body as she plunged straight into the jungle's lush canopy. Her parachute quickly became entangled, bringing her to an abrupt stop. Lara shook her head, relieved she hadn't fallen to her death, but that feeling didn't last long: she could see nothing below her except a nightmarish mishmash of branches, leaves and vines, none of which looked strong enough to hold her weight. She looked up: the sky was barely visible, and she had no way to climb up. She sighed.
Things were worse than she had expected not a minute ago, but she kept a cool head nonetheless. The ground couldn't be much more than thirty feet below her, and provided she didn't hit a rock, she could stick a landing from that height with her eyes closed. Lara drew a breath, unbuckled her chute and plunged straight down, but her fall was once again broken, this time not ten feet from the ground. It took an incredulous Lara a full second to understand what had just happened: on her way down, the tip of a large bough had slipped right between her breasts, and though she had been lucky to not be impaled, her tank top hadn't been so fortunate.
“Oh, you've got to be kidding...” she muttered angrily.
This was a custom-made tank top, very stretchable yet exceedingly strong, designed only to keep her very ample bosom relatively still while she performed whatever acrobatics made necessary by her searches. And now, she was hanging from it, just a few feet above ground. Her enormous mammaries, now unrestrained, wobbled and jiggled, still reeling from the fall. The fabric of Lara's top had stretched so much the courageous adventuress couldn't reach the bough that had caught it. She sighed once again, drew a knife from her belt and slashed at the piece of clothing that soon gave way.
Under normal circumstances, she would have stuck the landing, but instead, she collapsed and found herself on all four on the jungle floor. Right. That was why she never did acrobatics bra-less. It was difficult enough to account for the weight of her massive breasts when they were safely tucked inside one of her specially designed tops, but with them swinging wildly without any kind of support, it was almost impossible to predict how their load would pull her off balance at her next movement. With a groan, she looked down at the two exceedingly plump bags of flesh that hung under her. She could swear they were getting ever bigger. Why were some women cursed with such ridiculously overgrown mammaries? And why did she, Lara Croft, had to be one of those cursed women? For the third time in minutes, Lara drew a deep breath and sighed. She was annoyed, but she was strong, and she knew not to dwell on things she couldn't change anyway. As she stood up, she looked at the slashed remnants of her dark blue top hanging on the bough above her head.
“Well, as long as I don't walk too fast, I suppose I will manage to keep my balance, won't I?”
Then she looked down at her breasts.
“And as long as I don't skip rope, they won't bounce high enough to hit me in the face, will they?”
Her pondering was cut short by the sound of dry branches cracking and bushes being rustled. Lara turned around slowly. The sound persisted, though she couldn't tell exactly where it came from. Something was moving in the vicinity. Something... large. But what?
Lara Croft, the massively endowed, bra-less, world-renowned tomb raider, was ready to take on the jungle of Biggo Cocko. |