Her Majestic Hotness Empress Bambi I, the Indescribably Sexy, the Incomparably Gorgeous, the Impossibly Seductive, Founder of the Slutwhore Dynasty, Ruler of the Earth, Mistress of Humanity, Queen of all Four Hemispheres, and Dictatrix of the Seven Continents, sat at a desk in the small office adjacent to her luxurious bedchamber, looking at some papers.
More specifically, she was examining a petition requesting she rescind her decree ordering the Mona Lisa repainted in her likeness. Shaking her head in boredom-induced annoyance, Bambi made a note to have her secret police round up everyone involved with the petition. Honestly, you'd think that after what happened to the fools who'd protested her replacing the Statue of Liberty with her own Statue of Lovely, people would have learned. Nothing was stop her from celebrating the upcomimng tenth anniversary of her coronation by remaking mankind's cultural treasures in her image!
At this thought, she suddenly recalled another anniversary; fifteen years ago today her then-boyfriend had posted naked photos of her on the internet. She wondered if her high school self would have been as angry if she'd known those photos would leave to a mega-succesful career as a porn star, or that that career would eventually lead to world domination? Probably.
Suddenly, Bambi smiled. Her nostalgia had given her an idea for relieivng her boredom. She turned to the slave-girl kneeling next to her, and kicked the girl in the ribs. The girl straightened.
"How may I serve, Your Loveliness?"
"Go fetch Kevin, Stupid Bitch," was the reply.
The girl bowed and scurried off. As she left, Bambi chuckled. Stupid Bitch #43 (as the girl was now called), had once been a famous supermodel. But like every woman deemed a possible competitor for Bambi's claim to be the world's greatest beauty, she'd been made a slave. That this still amused her ten years later told Bambi she'd made a good choice following Kevin's advice and not having them mutilated or executed. |