On the way back from the movie theater you find yourself sitting in the back seat of Todd’s car. Todd is driving and Jen is sitting in the passenger seat. They are talking to each other in cutesy couple talk and not really paying much attention to you. This situation reminds you of the pre-recreational sex universe and you hate it. Some things never change.
Although you can apparently fuck Jen anytime you want, you decide you really don’t like the idea of having to share her with Todd anymore. You have known Jen longer and its not fair that you have to share her with this tool. You want her all to yourself tonight.
You pull out your phone and enter a new rule: “Jen Franklin is in love with Josh West and will spend the night alone with him.”
You press enter and the phone responds with a beep as the screen displays in big red letters: “Rule Change Rejected - Cannot Process Rule Changes Directed At A Single User. Rules must always be universal in nature.”
*Great,* you think to youself, *All the power in the world and I can’t use it for my own personal gain.*
“Hey Josh,” Todd asks from the driver’s seat, “Want me to drop you off at your house?”
That wasn’t the question you wanted to hear. You were really hoping for another go around with Jen. “Are you guys sure you don’t want to go back to Jen’s place and have one last threesome for the night?”
Jen turns to face you from the front seat, “I’m exhausted Josh. All the fucking and blowing has worn me out for the night. Maybe we can get together again in a few days? I just want to go home with Todd and get some sleep.”
*Fuck!* you think, *This just isn’t fair. There has got to be a way to fix this.*
You suddenly get an idea and try a new strategy. You type in a new rule: “Women never sleep with or have sex with their boyfriends or husbands between the hours of 6 pm and 10 am. The only man who a woman will sleep with and have sex with during those hours is the one she considers to be her best friend.”
You look at the rule to make sure it fully encompasses your desire and then add an addendum to make sure you don’t get caught in a “My boyfriend is my ‘best friend’” loophole.
You type: “A woman’s best friend shall never be her boyfriend or husband.”
Confident you have done this correctly, you press ENTER on the phone. |