With a mind still swirling around with dirty thoughts, heightened emotions, and swelling need for the only boy to ever make her heart flutter, Courtney felt unable to hold back any longer. So many years she had spent enduring a war between her id and ego; so many times when she would feel the conflict of want and fear fight inside her. She would always hide her feelings for him, but she couldn't afford to do that anymore. She never really considered another woman getting in the way of her fantasies of her and Jeremy, but her own friend had a sexual encounter with him first and that scared her. She was now facing the idea that she could lose him forever and it was like her worst nightmares come to life.
"Are you okay, Courtney?" Jeremy asked, seeing the fear in his friend's eyes. "What's wr-" He was cut off as Courtney grabbed his collar and pulled his face down to hers. She planted her lips against his roughly, the pure desire coupled with her compounding worry overtaking her body. She shut her eyes closed tightly, savoring the taste of Jeremy's lips against her own.
After a few second of surprise, Jeremy finally reacted and put his hands on her lower back, holding her close to him. Her closed his own eyes and kissed Courtney back. Her enthusiasm was evident and her kiss was every bit as amazing as he imagined it. A moan escaped Courtney's throat as her lips parted to get more of his reciprocating mouth.
Suddenly, her eyes shot open as she felt one of Jeremy's hands slide down to cup her ass. She quickly pushed away from him, although it took some effort to escape Jeremy's grip. Once her realized she was pulling away, her reluctantly let her go. "Courtney?" He asked worriedly, afraid he might have fucked up. "Was that too fast? I'm sorry...I just got too eager..."
"Oh God!" Courtney said, her eyes wet. "I'm...I'm so sorry, Jeremy!"
"You're what?" He asked.
"I didn't mean to push myself on you." She stammers. "I...I...don't know what I was thinking!" She covers her mouth with her hands, mortified. She didn't want Jeremy like this...not out of pity. She forced the kiss on him after breaking down crying; what must he think about her?
Jeremy just stood there, with his mouth hanging open. Courtney was always good at mixing him all up inside, but this was too much. He couldn't track her thought process with a map. Didn't she want him? "Didn't know what you were thinking?" He asked her weakly. "Didn't you...want that?"
"Of course I did!" She exclaims, overwrought with feelings. "I've wanted that for so long, Jeremy! But I didn't want to force you into that position! You shouldn't have to do what you don't want to placate me!" She turned away from and dropped to her knees on the ground. She buried her head in her hands. Jeremy slowly recovered from the shock and got down on his knees behind her. He put a hand on her shoulder. She tried to shrug it off, but he held on.
"I kissed you back." Is all he said. He heard Courtney sniffle softly.
"Cause you felt sorry for me." She mumbled in denial.
"That's not true." Jeremy replied. He inched closer to her.
"You don't want me." She says, her voice weak. "You want Sharon."
"Courtney..." Jeremy said simply. "You are all I've ever wanted." She didn't respond with any more denials, but she didn't lift her head up at all either. Jeremy leaned in and placed a kiss on the side of her neck. Courtney gasped and raised her head up in surprise. Jeremy followed and continued to lightly caress her neck with his lips.
"Jeremy!" She exclaims out loud as he worked her vulnerable spots.
"Do you believe me?" He asks, trailing kisses across her neck. Courtney gasps again, clenching her hands into fists to try and calm herself down.
"I...I'm so scared, Jeremy." She whispers. "I want you so much. And I'm scared of losing you. Scared you might hurt me or that I might hurt you. I can't live without you, Jeremy."
"You won't have to." He responds. "I already told you, I won't abandon you."
"I'm also scared of finally getting what I want. I've been lying to myself for so long, telling myself that we could never be together, to make not having you hurt less. I think I started to believe what I told myself." She moaned again as Jeremy's lips moved down toward her shoulder and he pushed the shirt to the side to do so. Her other hand snaked up and made its way to the back of Jeremy's head to prevent him from leaving. "I love you so much, Jeremy."
"I love you too, Courtney." Jeremy said. His lips left her skin for a moment, but she pushed him back in place.
"Don't stop, Jeremy." She pleads with him. "Just please don't stop. I don't want you to ever stop." |