Your career is stagnant and dull. Your name is and you are an investigative journalist. You are young, having just turned 23, and your pieces have earned you a few awards.
But as of late, you haven't gotten any good subjects to write about. You've been relegated to beat coverage to pass the time, mostly because your editor isn't willing to pony up the bucks required to undertake a good investigative report in these trying economic times. Though the gig has been boring the last year or so, so boring in fact that you've entertained the idea of changing careers, your editor drops a subject into your lap that has so many possibilities.
"Read this," your surly, old school Ben Bradlee-like editor says, dropping a Time Magazine into your lap. You look at him confused.
"Look at page 39"
You flip to that page and see an article outlining the "hook up culture" of today's high school and college students. Male or female, everybody's getting down. And they're using the technology of the day (texting, myspace, etc.) to get theirs. But you don't make the connection.
"What?" you shrug.
"This is probably going on in our town. At our schools. Parents need to know what their kids are doing."
You haven't heard him talk like this in a long time. He might be ready to actually pitch you a story idea.
"What are you getting at?"
"I need you to look into this ," he suggests. "I know you've been bored out of your mind doing shitty city council stories, so hopefully this will give you something to focus your talents on. And the great thing is, it won't cost anything. You can do it in town."
He tosses an envelope on your lap.
"Here's your class schedule "kid!"
You open up the envelope and see a schedule for Hillsdale High School. You're apparently a high school senior named Jace Jackson.
"The brass at Hillsdale are all for the idea. They're confused by the culture too. If it helps them better understand their students, they're all for it."
A huge smile falls over your face. You're totally floored by the idea. Imagine, you get to return to high school, knowing what you know now. And the girls. Holy shit the girls. You were such a geek in high school, and you couldn't pay a girl to be with you. Luckily, you've matured into an attractive adult, so at this point, girls aren't much of a challenge for you. But still...the possibilities.
"So, what do I do?"
"Make friends. Go to parties. Learn how to "hook up". Figure out what it's like. Just don't be an asshole about it. If I find out that you boffed some 16-year-old girl, I'll make sure you get arrested. Can't have that shit coming back onto this paper."
"Of course!" you respond. Dammit. So much for banging the freshmen.
"Classes start tomorrow. Get to work "Jace"!"
This is so awesome. You can't wait. And your boss even gave you permission to hook up, and get paid for it. You're like some high class prostitute. Way too good to be true.
If only your boss didn't give you a faggy name like "Jace." Oh well. |