You've always been able to tell when a woman you were with was faking. From the very beginning when you were invited to some guy-you-vaguely-knew's twenty-first birthday party by his eldest sister when you were only eighteen. She'd taken you out the back of the club where the party was being held and asked you to use your virginity to fuck her silly. Though at the time you couldn't believe your luck (she was dead hot and not very sober) you quickly realised that she was only trying to play with your mind and your body. Maybe she got kicks out of 'seducing' virgins - you don't know - 'cos once it hit you that those muffled screams of hers were fake you pulled out and left her where she lay. You've never seen her since either.
Several years later, you're much wiser about this sort of thing. Women have come and gone in your life (mostly gone when your honed senses told you they were faking in bed). You'd always found it insulting (after your first encounter) for a woman to fake on you. Of course, it hasn't been too much of a problem - you're not exactly lacking when it comes to what goes on between the sheets - and most of the women you've slept with couldn't get enough of you. It's your exacting standards that continue to prevent you from settling down with a steady girlfriend for long. That, and of course work. The money you make at the office is good and you love the lifestyle you can lead with it. Ok, so you're not quite a millionaire, but you're not prepared to work THAT hard at the expense of your social life...
Yes, life is good for you. Money (and all the trimmings) great sex and the knowledge that you don't have to put up with fakers who only want you for your money.
However, your last girlfriend, Rachel, took an iron mallet to the copper statue that is your life and seriously shattered your outlook on life.
Things had been going really well between the two of you for several weeks now, and you'd been considering asking her to come for a weekend away up to your cabin in the mountains. Then one day she just bursts out with a whole bunch of stuff about how you're not fulfilling her needs on every level and starts hurling insults at you as she ran around the house collecting all of the things of hers she always left there. You could shrug off most of them, but the last one stung more than a wasp-sting covered in lemon juice. She said, "You know, I never, ever had an orgasm with you in bed. I only stayed with you for the money!" and stormed out of the house and out of your life.
You tried to shake it off, reasoning that she was just saying it in anger, that it was a lie that couldn't possibly be true - you'd have dumped her on the spot if she'd been faking, surely? But the seed of doubt kept worming it's way through your mind and for several weeks you could think of hardly anything else. What if she was telling the truth? Have you lost your touch? Would this happen for every other woman you were with for the rest of your life, or was Rachel an enigma to your ability - a one-in-a-million chance?
You had to find out a way to know for sure. The problem kept dwelling on your mind until your boss told you to take a week's leave because you weren't working to your usual high standard. Gratefully you left the office and went home, intent on finding a solution to your quandary.
The next day, it hits you. What you need is a woman with no emotional strings attached - someone who'll tell you if you bring them to orgasm or not because they don't care either way. You wrack your brains trying to think of women who might be willing to help you in you plight, but only three ideas strike your brain, and none of them will be easy to convince.
You could try a hooker - and pay her for each orgasm she has with you, even more if she can fake on you and get away with it. The problem will be providing some incentive for her to accept the deal in the first place - no hooker in her right mind would take up an offer like that easily.
Another option would be your secretary, Janet. You've thought for a while now that she might be interested in you, and if you could convince her that her only chance with you is to help you with this - as boss and staff only (at least for now) - you may be in with a chance. Some extra dollars under the table might help to sway her decision too. Of course there's the problem that it could get tricky around work (there's no way you'd risk your job over her), and she might get attached anyway.
Your younger sister Amy is your third choice. She's three years younger than you and working as a part-time waitress and full-time actor, living on the other side of town from you. She's always been quite fond of you (as a sister, nothing more), and might be inclined to take pity on your situation. To get past the incest thing (which offends you almost as much as it would offend her) you could try pulling levers like: the fact that no-one else could be less emotionally involved; she's a first-grade actor (and you could pay her to act for you); she's the only person you could come to over this because you love her so much...
So, with three ladies in your head and the phone in your hand, which one are you going to call first? |